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Dane talks about Sex, Jobs and Rock 'n' Roll
Dane has been working on comedy since childhood. Every job he had always helped him create more material. If it was a choice between keeping a job or taking a comedy gig, he took the gig. And that focus has paid off not only with a wealth of material, but also with the ladies.
COOKING THINGS UP
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Set the Date
"You're with someone for like two weeks in and you're like, "F---, no way. I can't stand this person. I'll stay around for five to six years and we can end this thing violently, I got time."
Sexy Beast
"Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it."
Favorite Pranks
"There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody f---ing likes. Some of you are looking around saying, "Ummm, I disagree." Well you're the person that nobody f---ing likes.
Holy Moments
"Wouldn't that be great if that were a real cereal? Start your day out the holy way with Christ Chex. It's a miracle in a bowl."
Family Fun
"Slip and Slide -- would have been fun if Dad checked for rocks before he laid it down."
The Rawk
"Women make the craziest reasons to stay [in a relationship]. "Why don't you just go Jill? Just go. He's a jerkoff." "I can't just go, Kim. It's not that simple. My CDs are in his truck. I can't just walk away from 40 to 50 CDs. It'll take two or three more years of abuse. Before I can leave. With my CDs."
Messing Up
"I had one job that was kind of cop-like. One summer I did security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day, 'Hey, hey, excuse me sir. Get your putter out of the whale's ass. Come on, this is a place of miniature business.'"
Working It Out
"If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, "I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!"
Creating Dane Cook
"I wanted to create a stage persona for myself that allowed me to really speak on anything I want ... So I can be a storyteller, I can be jokey, I can be corny, I can be a little vulgar, I can be a lot vulgar. And I'm not afraid to go anywhere to get the point of the joke across."